Having a baby shower is a nice way to help new parents get off on the right foot with all they need. It is also a wonderful way for family and friends to show their love and support. In the past, it was often viewed as improper to hold a shower for a second child, seeing as the parents were not likely to need much, especially the “big” items. It is now considered proper to have a second-baby shower, as long as certain modifications are made.
The shower could be a mini-shower focusing on those essential items that every baby needs, no matter how many older siblings - like diapers, undershirts, and bath accessories. You can add to the gift registry those items which the parents did not receive with their first baby. You can also have a shower where the gifts are for mom, with guests bringing relaxing and useful items for her to enjoy during the last days of her pregnancy and after the baby is born. These gifts might be luxury items like a box of decadent chocolates, or perhaps something practical, like a stationery set to respond to gifts.
It can also be especially fun to throw a shower that reminds the mom that she won’t be pregnant forever, with gifts like lingerie, chocolate treats, alcoholic beverages, and other items. Mom and dad will definitely want and need some time off, so you might go in together with other guests on a gift certficate for a relaxing spa massage or other special treat. A practical option is to have a meeting before the party, with the guests and the father-to-be, to draw up a helping hands calendar (using an eraseable board and markers).
You might want to arrange for someone to clean house while mom and baby are still in the hospital, helping out with childcare or as a helper on errands or grocery day, or schedule transportation for the older child’s school and sports activities, especially the first week or so. Mom will be delighted at receiving this calendar full of helpful offers, as well as the names and phone numbers of the helpers (in case of changes). It may be that both mom and the baby in fact don’t need anything new. You might choose to simply have a party, inviting the mom’s closest friends and family.
You might also have the guests purchase baby items and then put them all together for a donation to a shelter or other charitable organization. You can also ask guests to bring a dish that can go in the freezer or stored in tupperware (a “freezer” party instead of a traditional shower). This will definitely help out mom in the last days before her due date and also those following the birth. Make sure that mom knows about the shower ahead of time so she can determine if she has enough room for everything, and also pick a day for the shower which is close to her due date.
Lastly, it is acceptable to hold a full, as-if-it-were-the-first-baby shower in the case of a “caboose” baby - one who, as the name implies, is being born several years after the last child. In these situations, many parents will have donated or given away even the big-ticket items, or even if they still have them, they might need safety updates.
Don’t forget that the type of shower is secondary to the purpose of the shower itself, which is to show the mom that she has the love and support of her friends and family.
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